Rap Wars, Illuminati, and The Prince

We have some pretty interesting conversations. Below is the text conversation that inspired us to start this blog. Since we are both snarky bitches, we can't let an autocorrect or a typo ever slip passed us without mocking it. In this particular conversation, Lauren fell victim to autocorrect. The resulting conversation was both intellectual and utterly insane.

Mandy: What kind of cupcakes did you get?

Lauren: Key Lime and Old Fashioned

Mandy: Yummmmmmm my fave old fashioned

Lauren:  Haha yes. I wanted to try a caramel Machiavelli but she said there was a caramel sniper in it so I didn't get it. I may be OK with caramel inside but I need to think about it

Mandy: I'd expect nothing less than a sniper from a caramel Machiavelli

Lauren: Wasn't Machiavelli a philosopher? I think he'd be more apt to wonder if a cupcake has a sniper if it's even a cupcake at all.

Mandy:  I thought Machiavelli was some kind of preacher of violence. I should note that everything I know about Machiavelli is from Tupac.

Lauren:  Hmmmmm now I need to google him. I was more east side in the rapper wars so I didn't listen to much Tupac.

Mandy:  Oh no... now I'm obligated to pop a cap in you mama to repraZENT!

Lauren:  I'll retaliate.

OK I'm trying to slim Machiavelli wikipedia and he apparently did many things.

It's hard to follow

When I'm not actually reading

Mandy:  I just wikipedia'd tupacs infatuation with Machiavelli. Apparently, he made the alias Makavelli after he read his entire works while in prison. Machiavelli taught that one should be able to conquer their enemies by any means necessary.

Lauren:  Which is a philosophy. So we're both right. You just have more street cred with your answer.

Mandy: Yes he was def a philohopher when you get down to it.

Lauren:  Btw I did get tea. But only a cup. I got the mocha mate oolong you refinanced yesterday

Mandy: Refinancing on my mocha mate oolong saved me thousands.

Lauren: I bet. It is a fancy tea.

Mandy: Did you like it?

Lauren: Yeah it's good. I'd get it again. Not my favorite though.

Mandy: Not my face either.

I really like the sweet citron from them and co but spring.

Lauren:  No, the mocha mate oolong is not your face

Mandy:  Cocnut*

Coconut

Lauren: I don't like coconuts.

Mandy: Now I have Hail Mary in my head because Tupac says Machiavelli in it like 20 times

What about co buts or cocnuts.

Lauren:  Cobnuts I like

Or cobnuts

cocnuts

co buts not so much

Mandy: I'd like to try cobnuts. You seem really excited about them.

..Makavelli in this, killuminati, all through ya body, blows like a 12 gauge shoddy..

Lauren: I am.

The illuminati freaks me out b

Mandy:  I learned all about hoodlums from Tupac too. He taught me how to see the signs.

Lauren:  Tupac would know how to spot a hoodlum. You'll have to teach me. I have so much to learn since in my uneducated youth I clearly picked the wrong side of the rapper wars

Mandy:  And this is really freaky because a 2pac song just came on my pandora

Its not that uncommon. He does show up from time to time and I still know all the words

It's just eeeeeeery

Lauren:  Were you listening to your hoodlums station?

Mandy: Yes, my classic hip hop station. But it's on quick mix so it came to me

Why does the illuminati freak you out?

Lauren:  Tupac is thanking you for trying to convert me

Bc it's kinda creepy. Not like the enlightenment illuminati. The modern illuminati.

Mandy: Oh I just looked it up to see what it was. Yes, saying that a secret society controls all of the world's major events is scary.

Another reason you should follow Tupac. He wanted to kill the illuminati, hence killuninati.

They kind of sound like the Capitol in hunger games. It seems like that's their ultimate goal.

Lauren: Yeah Beyonce and jay-Z are apparently in the illuminati

Yes! It's soooo creepy. I mean it's conspiracy theory stuff but still creepy.

Mandy: I've never trusted them anyway. Makes sense because jay z is besties with p.Diddy who was mortal enemies with Tupac

Lauren: Jay z and p.ditty are bestows?

P.ditty is awesome

Mandy: He is awesome and also a bestow.

Lauren: I must say, this is probably the best text conversation I've ever had.

Mandy: They used to be at least. Unless they had a falling out.

Yes, 2 white girls from ct discussing the rap wars of the 90's while tying in themes on conspiracy theory and ancient philosophy. All sprinkled with the humor of autocorrect.

Lauren:  Yeah I could see them being besties.

Seriously. This should be documented.

Mandy: I think we should teach a class at the school of hardknocks

Lauren:  Wasn't that a Jay-Z song? He'll get all illuminati on our ass

Mandy: Yea, jay z is all about the school of hardknocks. We should probably lay low for a while.

Lauren:  Definitely. He probably knows we are having this conversation right now.